Megan's Mad as Hell

I've faked orgasms. I've "zoned out" during sex I wasn't really into because I thought it would be impolite to stop my partner, and what the hell, it couldn't hurt anyone. Right? I've done things I didn't really want to do sexually because the other person seemed nice and I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I've ignored my body and willed myself to get through sex because I'd initiated it, and something happened through nobody's fault to ding my arousal because female arousal is willful and insolent sometimes, and I felt I owed my partner satisfaction. Because hey, I'd started it. Most of the time, my partners never seemed to notice. These things aren't sexual assault. I've experienced that too. But they ARE part of a larger, systematic culture of patriarchy that tells women that our bodies are not our own. That our desires should make us ashamed. That our voices don't matter. That we must placate.

Men need to stop with these hand-wringing posts saying "but how I do I flirt with people without sexually harassing themmmm." It's super fucking simple, my dude. Herein is Megan's "A Very Short Primer on How to Have a Dick but Not Be One": 1) Flirt only with people in a context in which both of you have clearly consented to it. Board meeting? Nope. We have other things to think about, like whethe r the Mac will talk to the PC or screw up our damn PowerPoint. Office Christmas party? Nope. Those things are awkward enough without worrying that the inch of collarbone we're showing is considered an invitation. Date you mutually agreed to go on in a non-work, non-coercive setting? Flirt away, but keep your hands/mouth/dick to yourself unless invited. 2) Watch for signals. Women have this weird ability some mammals have to use WORDS and BODY LANGUAGE to communicate their FEELINGS. If you move in for a kiss and we move away or flinch or get a wide-eyed rictus gr

I've been seeing this weird response online from men to the recent hurricane of sexual harassment/assault accusations that basically boils down to "But what if she *wants* to see my dick and is robbed of the chance because of silly harassment policies?" A couple points here, my dudes. 1) I think I may be the only female-identified person I know who finds the dick aesthetically pleasing. I have ne ver encountered another woman who actively wanted to see dicks, even when she otherwise enjoys interacting with them. As a general rule, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOUR DICK. 2) Women these days are capable of many surprising and independent things, like voicing our desires and opinions! If she does somehow want to see your dick, my dude, SHE WILL ASK. 3) Are you genuinely saying that it is of more concern to you that a woman might not have the chance to gawk at your mighty man-bologna than that you, she, and everyone else are able to work and live in a mutually respectful and s